More About Journals

I am living in Korea right now and getting ready to leave in December 2010. I wrote in my other blog about getting healthier that I have found that in Korea several things that I have benefited from. Here is a copy:

In a few months, December, I will be returning to the United States. In my mind I have been assessing what has happened to me since coming here in March of this year. One of the things that I have noticed is that I have been forced to deal more with myself than I would have normally. Most people around me speak a language that I don't understand. It is hard to get books in English although I have a reader and this computer and the Internet. I am for the most part isolated.

I have been going to a church on Sundays only because they speak English during the service which is getting me down as I don't believe in their doctrines and have major disagreements with many of their interpretations of the Bible. I am not a Christian but am interested enough in the Bible as an avid reader to overcome that, but not in overcoming their interpretation of who is in compliance of God's law and who is not. For example, they are not open and affirming to all groups of people. That is, they will accept gay and lesbian people into their meetings but it is clear they condemn their so-called life style. They are very nice people,though, and I would hate to give up going there.

The one person that I have been getting to know better is myself. This is a surprise. I thought I had been pretty good in writing in my journal, meditation every morning and so on. I haven't even scratched the surface if I can use slang here. There has been a lot of things that I have learned about myself that I did not know before because I had no other choice but to explore myself a bit more since there are no other people to talk to but myself for the most part.

I am writing full time now and established a routine so I won't end up doing nothing; and that means working more in my journal since that task sharpens my writing skills and directs my writing projects a bit more. That also means delving deeper into my self and that has brought up some surprises. It always astounds me that no one really knows the person they live with as a spouse or partner and even less the self.

For instance, I am far more spiritual than I ever thought I was. I used to hide this from friends when I was growing up. There are options that are open for men who have strong spiritual interests as becoming priests, ministers, monks and others but not too many for women. The only ones are nuns and they have little power over their own lives and cannot explore spiritual matters on their own. I tended to keep my spiritual interests hidden to some extent and when I was with people who were strong believers in their own faith it was hard not to question their beliefs especially when it contradicted what I thought was the spirit of what the Eternal stood for. Now, that I discovered this I have no intention of inflicting my beliefs on those who just want to be Christians on Sundays and good people on the rest of the week. I have to accept people's limitations.

Sometimes, each of us believe we have been disliked because of some unknown reason but I find being a loner and a reader I may have hurt my friends feelings when I took off to the library or other places to do my own thing while they did things such as socialize that I did not care to do as much. There was really nothing wrong with neither my friends or myself but a misunderstanding. I know my parents did not always understand me either since I did things they did not understand either such I was the first to complete school and get advanced degrees. They thought I should just get married like my sister.

Being a Buddhist, I know I needed to examine past attachments and disengage so that I won't hold past anger. I used these excursions into the past to do that. The more I did it, the more I realized that everyone was just trying to survive the best they could. No one was against me and that those episodes that I was holding grudges were episodes in which people were mad at me, probably, at the time. I did not have to say "I forgive you" and so on. There was nothing to forgive anyone for.

I have a few extra pounds and sometimes I think those pounds are like a wall of flesh that I use to protect myself. I explored that too. I think that is why I have been able to start losing the weight that I have not been able to for years. I find that I don't need to have this wall of fat anymore. I can protect myself without it. There are bullies out there. I can effectively protect without putting anything between myself and people. I can tell people that it is not ok to talk to me like that or just remove myself from the situation. I also explored why I was so easily bullied in the first place.

I have been afraid of going back home in a sense. I don't want a return to the old world, so I have been exploring that as well. There are no guarantees in life and there certainly are no guarantees in this either. Still, I will have the exact same tools in the States as I have now. I can do this. It has been good being in Korea.


I have always thought that the most important thing that I do is journal and I do it every single day. If I don't, I feel as if I am a long distance runner that is not running or a concert violin player who does not practice. However, as you can tell there is so much more about writing in a journal. It is the communication of the self that I find is absolutely necessary to good health. I found without it, I would not have been as successful as I have in Korea.

Editing, THAT part of writing

"I believe more in the scissors than I do in the pencil."
-Truman Capote

When I first started out in writing, it took everything in my brain and self-confidence just to put my words on paper. Even then I was scared of the great white space. In those days, I had a huge office typewriter that one had to push down with all one's might and because I was poor I had paper I stole from the public school which was cheap and erasing it meant a hole in the paper. I wanted my words to be golden and unchangeable because I knew what those changes meant to my finished paper.

What made it worse was the fact that I was dyslexic although I did not know the word at the time. Again, I went through Hell trying to get a finished copy that did not need editing and of course that never happened. I don't know what would have happened if the personal computer did not come my way. I do know my grades were minimal in my undergraduate days but were much better because I had a personal computer in my graduate years. The difference was the ability to edit easily. I am one of those writers that need to do it over and over again.

Years before, I wrote everything by hand and then erased, crossed out and then pasted over it with strips of paper and then typed it out. It was a hard process. I did not have a typist or secretary to help me out as many writers in the past had or a brilliant mind as others did. W. Somerset Maugham had a secretary who edited his work along with her duties to type up his stories. Sometimes, writers mailed in their work in longhand and the typists at the publishers typed it.

I learned to type on the tips of my fingers so never had long fingernails. I never liked them anyhow but their existence was an impossibility for me because manual typewriters had to be banged very hard. Now, my fingers just glide over the keys with the greatest of ease and I love it as I watch the words appear on the screen. I remember watching a television program in which this young kid had trained to be a doctor and at the end of the program he would write in his electronic diary or journal. I never got over that image as he wrote and the audience watched his words appear on their television screen.

Editing for me is so much part of the process of writing that I can't do it without that essential step at the end of putting the words down. To me it is like a sculptor and what he or she does with the object of art. You shape it this way and then refine it until it appears the way you want it to. You look up the words and find the one you want. I use to have a dozen dictionaries and
thesauruses and have them around me as I wrote. Now, all I need is the Internet. When I was teaching, I always taught the students the easy way of checking one's spelling and definition as well as look for other similar words and it is so much easier than it used to be. There is always some joker in the neighborhood who looks down his or her nose and says that this modern way takes away from learning it. Well, phooey to them. This very dyslexic person loves the new way of writing and editing. I have learned from the wisdom from W. Somerset Maugham not to give a damn about anyone's opinion about anything. Thank you Mr. Maugham.

I have always felt that Truman Capote was the best editor in that after he wrote, he spent a lot of time shaping what he wrote into easily read prose. He never forgot his editing roots. Yes, there are those stories of writers who produce perfect writing without any editing. I don't believe it. Maugham tells of a story in which he met the Nobel winning writer, Colette, who writes exceptional easily read prose and she told him how she would spend hours trying to get one page right. Colette who is not read much these days wrote "Gigi" .

With all of this said, I don't know how many times I have written something, edited it and then pushed the button for publish such as this blog and found little things that I missed. On this blog, I can correct it but in some places that I post I can't. Editing, of course, does not reside in the fingers but in the eyes. You have to see what is really there on the screen instead of what you meant to be there. There is a poster on a forum that I participate in ever so often and he often says his posts say this or that and they don't. He swears they do but the times I go up on the forum to the posts to check, they don't. He is always bragging he has a PhD in something but it isn't in editing. He never checks his own posts and reads what is really there. We all make this sort of mistakes but a professional writer like myself should be more aware than those who don't.

You have to see your assets and deficits clearly and adjust your writing to make the most of them. Maugham in "The Summing Up", which I am presently reading for the second time, had a skill for plain writing and dialogue. He did not have the talent for using vast numbers of words and complex twists of phrases so instead of trying he just went after what he did do well. He was a good observer of what happened around him. He adapted for it. He edited his work for it. That is why his work even today is so readable. Many critics state that he is not read that much anymore but his books for the most part are still in copyright and there are movies still being done on his books and stories. In your editing process, don't try to put something in your writing that isn't there because you are not good at it. Some of the criticism I have read about John Steinbeck said he wrote too simple prose. Thank goodness he did not change to accommodate those silly critics. His work is still in copyright and read today and reads wonderfully.

Another writer who I am sorry to say I forgot his or her name said "kill your babies". That means when you have written something that seems that it could stand next to Shakespeare and you are editing it and the most memorable phrase just does not fit, you have to ax it. You have to kill that baby. I have done that many times with tears running down my face. Oh, it was so good, but no one will ever know it. Sigh...

Then there is the other side. I gave a story once to a writer who was a friend (we did not stop being friends because of it.) who criticized it for several reasons. I chose to ignore those reasons and submitted it to an important contest and won it. We can accept editing from an editor or publisher or we can reject it. The final decision always rests with the writer, always....

I write this blog on writing and few people ever read it. It used to hurt my feelings ever so often. I also had to edit my writing so many times that it hurt my feelings. My goodness everything hurt my feelings. I am learning to get over that. It's a big world out there. There is room for me as well as other writers. The one thing that is a necessity for all writers is the scissors as Capote states or editing. I am awful glad I finally learned that.

O. Henry's Two Rules of Writing

September 11, 2010

Today is O. Henry's birthday and thanks to Writers' Almanac (http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2010/09/11) I was reminded of this. He was born William Sidney Porter in Greensboro, North Carolina in 1862.

I have not been a fan of this author for some time because I was forced to read him all through my school years and television in those early years often used his stories as playhouse productions. I got tired of his stories although they were very good ones.

He had many occupations in his life including licensed pharmacist, convicted felon, shepherd, domestic servant, bank teller and baby sitter. Many of his stories were written while he sat in prison for embezzlement.

Many biographies will tell you that O. Henry was an alcoholic but they also will tell you that he was one gifted writer with hundreds of stories to his name. He died at the age of 47 from liver disease.

In 1909, he gave an autobiographical interview of himself for the New York Times. One part of it bears repeating:

"I'll give you the whole secret of short-story writing. Here it is Rule I: write stories that please yourself. There is no Rule II."

Right now I am working on a book of short stories. I have never attempted to do that before. The one thing I can attest to, is that it is no fun writing short stories that don't please oneself. In fact, it is pure drudgery when you attempt to write what is popular and salable instead of what pleases the self. Many books will tell you that you need to research the market first and then write what is selling. The stories that I have sold were ones that I did not research the market first. I just wrote what pleased me. I am not a writer like O.Henry, but if a writer is not having fun writing, what good is it to be a writer? W. Somerset Maugham in his book, "The Summing Up", called the writer the last free human being. We are. Let's have fun while we are at it and write what we want. The Hell with market research and pay attention to rule no. I.

Happy Birthday O. Henry!

Writing and Reading

I have mentioned before that I have trouble getting books in English here in Korea. I have found a set of books that are not expensive but are of the classic authors of the past for the most part. They are written both in Korean and English. The books are complete and that was a concern or they seem to be. They are bound in quality paperback and have a nice feel to them.

The reason I am bringing this up is a gem of a book that I picked up in this series, "The Summing Up", by W. Somerset Maugham. Forget all books about creative writing and get this one. I have never heard of it but it is by far the best I have ever read and is full of helpful advice and clear writing that when I read it I swoon in admiration of this author and wish I read this particular book years ago.

To be honest, I have read all of his novels and most of his short stories through the years. Then I learned that he taught himself to write by reading authors that wrote the way he thought he wanted to write. He wrote this book in 1938. He is clear in what he expects from his authors. He expects three qualities in the order of importance: lucidity, simplicity and euphony. I had to look up the definition of euphony which is agreeableness of sound, pleasing to the ear. I sometimes read authors out loud but never thought of their agreeableness of sound as important. Still, two authors he admired were Voltaire and Colette who are favorites of mine especially Colette.

I joined a writers' group once and was surprised at the number of writers who never read at all. They were writers who were not published or were self-published. I did not stay with this group for very long because they could not get the membership list straightened out and I never got a newsletter although I paid my dues.

Every writer I knew that was published both personally and through their work had one thing in common. They all read. What Maugham said about teaching himself how to write was something I already knew. You find writers that you like and admire and you read everything they write and imitate how they do it and then make the best things they do your own.

You would think such simple advice would be just that, too simple; but at that writers' club it was advice most of the writers there that I met did not take. Some of the writers even gave talks to libraries and they were proud of the fact that they did not read. I remember sitting there during those meetings and talks shaking my head and wondering if I had just landed on some strange planet.

I have to read. I also have to write and I often have a hard time distinguishing between the two of these activities as they seem to blend and accentuate each other. It is clear that Maugham had that desire and love as well.

Still working on the book

I am still working on my book of short stories. I am enjoying it more than I thought I would. I remember reading about an author who just sat down without a plan or an outline and started to write. I have been doing that. Whenever I try to make plans, I end up hating the story and delete the whole thing. Then I find I write the story I have been wanting to do anyhow.

All of my stories continue to follow a theme and I am afraid to put what the theme is here. I think I may goof up what I am trying to do. It will develop on its own. In the past if I told what the story was too much I lost the power to put it down on paper. I have heard other writers having that problem so will stay mum for now. As I wrote, I am having a lot more fun with this book than I expected.

I continue to write in my journal and often take my handwritten journal to places I can work in it. I like doing it so I can have a break although I still spend time on the book before I leave. I usually do some grocery shopping as well. I miss buying newspapers and magazines to read in between writing in the journal but English language publications are impossible to find. I have to do it at home on the Internet. I miss holding a newspaper in my hand.

It's ironic that when I was in the States, had comfortable chairs, pole lights and book stores to go to as well as newspapers and magazines in English, I also had a writer's block that seemed to be the size of San Francisco. Here, I don't have one at all. There is no such thing as a comfortable chair although the one I am in is not bad. There is no pole lights and I have to use the overhead lights which is not conducive to working on a computer. My desk is not at the right angle so my arms get tired and the laptop overheats. I can't watch television and have a hard time finding books to read. I am writing non-stop and having a grand time.

I am not making plans too much in the future except to work on this book. I have savings so would like to stay here for the rest of the year unless something else develops and it could.

Driven By Some Demon

"Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand."
-George Orwell "Why I Write" 1947

I am working on a book of short stories. It is my first attempt to write a collection. I don't have a title although I do have a theme. I have done novels before and wanted to write short stories to look at some issues about writing. I thought I would just write some stories and send them off. I am in a country where going to the post office might not be possible. Then I started to think I might try a book of short stories.

I have never really like this form of fiction with some exceptions. I loved reading the Sherlock Holmes stories by Doyle as a young teenager. It was during that time when I happened to read some short stories by Somerset Maugham and found that I could like some short stories. Maugham's story "Rain" was wonderful. Since then I have read others in this form and enjoyed them but not often. One that I read not too long ago was "Brokeback Mountain" by Anne Proux. It was a wonderful story. I wanted to do a few things with this form.

I enjoyed the novel more because once I got into a story that I liked, I wanted to stay there a while. I wanted to wear it for a longer period of time and get to know the characters. In a short story, the characters are gone just as I am getting to know them. Already I am finding this the case as I write the stories and I hate to see them go so soon.

The choice of writing and not writing was never an issue. I must write. Even if I never see a successful career other than a hit and miss type of affair as I have now I would still do it. I understand the image of a demon in Orwell's words. I can't stop writing. It drives me to do it when no one is reading me, when there is no guarantee that anyone will ever read me, when what I am writing is not what the public wants or may ever want. It just does not matter. If I am listening to a lecture I tie it into whatever project I happen to be working on. If I listen to a video on Joseph Campbell, I put some of what he said in a story that I am working on. I love doing this. I love writing.

But writing can be horrible and exhausting as Orwell states. It can also break your heart when the brown envelop comes back with the rejection letter in it. Being a writer is a solitary existence and sometimes it can be a lonely one. It can even be a dangerous one in which people attack you or call you names when you are published. When you are paid, it is so little that you wonder if working at a fast food restaurant would make you more money and you suspect it would. People criticize your work but never put their stuff out there. Complete strangers will tell you that they could do it better.

I have decided to stay in Korea for awhile and to sizzle in this humid heat instead of going home. Why would I consider suffering when there is a perfectly good house in Northern California waiting for me? Because with all of the insanity that is here and all of the bad weather I can write here. Who else but a demon can make me do such a thing?

Imagination grows by exercise.

"Imagination grows by exercise, and contrary to common belief, is more powerful in the mature than in the young."
-W. Somerset Maugham

When I was younger, I had more trouble with the blank page than I do now. Now, I often just sit down and just start to write and a short story or even a book comes out of nowhere. Before, I could never do that. I have a whole set of beliefs why that is so but I really don't know why except I have been at it for a long time and the muscles needed to create are just there when in years past they weren't.

Some of it is due to the journal writing I do everyday. Some of it is due to the dreaming of stories that I do in my head and some of it is due to the books that I read. Some of it is due to the living that I now have. The rest I just don't know. What I do know and evidently Maugham knew as well is the older I get, the better I am at writing.

A friend who has been at it for a long time attributes it to accessing the unconscious because she feels that is where the stories comes from. She also feels that she uses her shadows more as she grows older because she is not afraid of her memories as much as she used to be. I think there is validity in that.

Writers need to read and they need to write and they need to do this everyday. Being alive is important but sharpening the tools that each writer uses for his or her craft is important too. I teach writing on a college level and one of the things that I teach is editing. That is part of writing and developing the eyes so that they see what is actually on the paper so they can change it, if necessary, to reflect what the writer wants to see is part of it. The more you do it, the better you get because your eyes (and ears) grow older and more mature at it. But first, they must be exposed to good writing, your own.

Everything I do and that includes writing, thinking, reading involves doing it so many times that I get better at it. I don't give up if someone says I am no good at it. I just keep doing it. The wrinkles keep coming, The gray and white hair keeps coming into the hair and the years pile up every year but that is going to happen whether or not I write at all. I would rather spend my life writing and getting better at it than not writing at all.