Using a Thesaurus or how to ignore the cactus

I have just finished reading the biography of Peter Mark Roget who created "Roget's Thesaurus". The book is "The Man Who Made Lists: Love, Death, Madness and the Creation of Roget's Thesaurus" by Joshua Kendall (Putnam: 2008). This thoroughly enjoyable book contains the argument that the use of a Thesaurus has "dumbed down" the English language by such writers as Simon Winchester who I normally love to read. The book itself shows admirably how much we as speakers and writers needed "Roget's Thesaurus".

Before Roget came upon the scene, there was an inferior book that people used and it was hated for its deficiencies as much as it was admired for simply being there. I am one of those people who have trouble coming up with words to say or describe something I mean and end up saying the same word over and over again: "that was nice, oh yes, that was really nice for you to do that. Yes, I like that and it was nice for you to say so."

I don't think in words. I read quite a bit, but I need a Thesaurus to help me with better words to say what I really mean, to come up with a word that is closer to what I really want to say or write. Maybe there are wordsmiths that have a natural talent to come up with the exact word they mean, but I am not one of them and neither was Roget. He needed the list and that is why he came up with it in the first place. He spoke in other languages such as Latin and French and he had lists for those languages too.

There are those insufferable writers who write the perfect draft the first time their fingers touch the keys or put the words on paper. Trust me, I did not want to write "writers". I did not need a Thesaurus to come up with another word for them. No. These are people who think in words, pristine and clear words and I am glad for them. However, the majority of the writers I know are like me. The majority of students I taught in school were like me as well. We needed Peter Mark Roget and am awful glad he wrote that book so many years ago and glad that Penguin has kept it up. He came up with other inventions and one of the things he came up with was the very beginning of the movie industry. He was not only a doctor but a very clever fellow even if his family were the mad hatters of the Victorian Times.

All this comes down to is this, use what you need and ignore those who are insufferable or *ricks.

Overcast

I read blogs and books on writing all of the time. I even write this one although I am aware few people read it; but I am hopeful. Everyone has rules about writing. I have a few and that is to re-read what you write and edit it. Then wait a bit and do it again. I like to read what I write out loud but that is a personal preference.

One rule is to never start a story with the weather, but I have seen many stories that do that. It is overcast this morning and thought about that rule. Why is it that one can not start a story with the weather? Beats me. There is a rule about not using adverbs and I can see it. He was very loud means about the same as he is loud. The weather? I have seen movies that start with the weather. There was one movie that started off with a funeral and the actor, Tyrone Power, is there standing in the rain with an umbrella. I remember it because it was very effective. I think it was for a character who was played by Ava Gardner. He is in a dark or black suit with the rain hitting the umbrella and he is very sad as everyone stands in the cemetery in the rain. I can still hear the rain hitting the umbrella. The the film switches into the sunshine with a smiling and warm woman character. That has stayed with me although I saw that movie in my childhood and forgot what the film was. I think that is a rule that should be thrown out.

I think when a writer hears a rule or advice one should think about the Buddha's advice. He said that everything should be run through one's heart and mind, if it sounds true then keep it and if it doesn't throw it out even if it is the Buddha (Gautama) who is saying it.

Of course, there is my rule. Read so you can perfect your ear and eye and know what sounds and reads good. I wrote a story many years ago as a kid. I thought it sounded great and the end of the story was of a woman swimming. The person reading it said she sounded like a boat. I read it again and sure enough the woman character sounded like a motor boat. I changed it. I was very grateful. I try and question everything I write and love it when someone does the same with what I am writing. That does not mean I accept it for I often don't. But I do consider it. Who knows? Maybe another character will sound like a boat instead of a woman swimming from a sinking ship.

Writer's zest can make us pests

All writers remember when they were first turned on by the magic of the written word and the power of our own stories and other writings. Heavens knows I remember very well, and it takes me well into childhood. I know some writers who are published regularly but few make enough money to support themselves solely on their writings. Some are housewives who are supported by their husbands and others are teachers. Stephen King and many writers were high school teachers for a long time before they could finally quit their day jobs and just concentrate on their writing careers. I am doing that now, just writing, but not because I make enough money in writing but because I receive retirement income. If I made enough money in writing, I would "run away from home" and make my home in another place as this place is a bit restrictive. I do better when I live alone.

We get very excited about writing and think it is the greatest life. We also love to read or at least most of us do which is good because it keeps us up on what is happening out there in the world of literature. It always surprises me to hear about people who say they don't like to read and avoid it as much as possible. I used to say something to them and now I don't. There is a commercial on Charter TV that has a young man who says he is going to admit something that few people will own up to, and I thought at first it was something about religion or sexual orientation, but it was his preference for watching television. Then someone says many people will not admit they watch it and someone else says that means there is more for the rest of them to have which of course makes no sense but if you watch television you don't do a lot of thinking anyhow. Television does not encourage analytical thinking.

I can't imagine a life not reading and also not writing something somewhere. I record my life in a journal and have all of the journals. When my ex-husband threw out a lot of my stuff, he did not get his hands on my journals, thank goodness. My youngest son took them and put them in his bedroom. I have all of my journals, for the most part, since I was 15 years old. I don't re-read them. I just like having them and consider them my legacy to my offspring. I wish my mother and grandmother kept a journal. I would have loved reading them.

Trying to get my sons and other relatives to write just gives them headaches or so they tell me. I draw and although the drawings are not great they are mine. I have a relative who is a professional artist and she does not draw as much as I do. I encourage her to draw the view from her house as it is spectacular. She yawns and takes a nap. I drew it in my journal and it does not look like much but I enjoyed doing it.

I remember thinking about how the dreams in my head would make great stories. Wow, I thought. I know others told me that I dream too much. That is what most people tell writers that they live too much in their heads or imagination. When we try and communicate this zest for our love of words and imaginary worlds it makes us pests.

I happen to think there can't be too many poets or writers in this world. That does not mean I love ever poem or story because I don't. But I love the way people try and see what is out there and then translate it into words. I also hope that they take into consideration the fact that they need pencils to edit; but to keep on writing. Even if the only reader is themselves, they should keep at it. As for expressing the enthusiasm for writing verbally, well we should just write about it and then go take a nap.

Editing and asking questions

I have a new blog in which I am trying to teach myself how to write very short pieces,http://zebrareadersshorttails.blogspot.com/. I have written only two so far and a friend of mine who is a published writer has been helping me with the editing. When I can do it right, I will take it down as there is very little copyright protection and I normally don't put my work on the Internet. It sounded to me, at first, easy. Well, it is not.

The pieces are still too long. I am trying so hard to get them down to three or four paragraphs. I went into writing as a novelist. Writing short stories was very difficult for me; but to condense things even more is proving to be so darn hard.

The editing of "short tails" is even more difficult. I thought I had my editing down pretty good. I have learned that I don't. My friend who is a whiz at it has been teaching me even more. For one thing every single statement in the piece must be justified by another. For instance, I put down that a character was good in management although he hated people. I had to say why and how. I knew the answer in my head but I had to put it down as briefly as possible.

I have a tendency to be wordy. I am learning to throw out the extra words even if I am in love with a phase or a sentence. I love words and fall in love with sentences all of the time. I am learning to throw them out. It hurts, but it is necessary.

So far, no one has been reading the Short Tails and that is fine. One has a lot of freedom when the only reader is the self. My friend who has been helping me is thinking about trying his luck in writing them too. He said they are fun because of the amount of freedom in plot and viewpoint since research is at a minimum. I don't think he will try them out on the Internet but in his notebook.

Repeating words

Lately, I have read blogs about writers who use the same words too often and some of those blogs wrote that it was not a good idea and others said it did not matter. Both sides of the issue used writers who were published to show support for their side. I am always in favor of not overloading any writer with rules that take the joy out of writing; so I say let yourself be the judge.

By letting yourself be the judge, you just have to read what you wrote with your "pencil" in your hand and see if you like it as a reader. This is where you, the writer, come into your own as a reader. When you read, you know what you like and what you don't like. You know what will help you get into the story and keep you there. You as a reader know what will throw you out of the story quickly. When I watch a television program and they quote a telephone number and they quote 555-whatever, I am out of the story. I know why they do it, but it kicks me out of the "hermeneutic circle" and I am thinking of the script writer and the cameras and crew. (Surely, there is another way of handling this problem of people calling the phone numbers that are quoted on the television. )

There are some standby rules that everyone is supposed to obey such as never start a story with the weather but I have just read a wonderful short story that started with a snow storm. They say never use adverbs which is a good rule but I never say never. There might be a occasion to use one or two. I certain do on occasion. I tend to get wordy so always write a very wordy first draft and then take all of the extra words out in later revisions. Some writers don't want to change, ever after the first draft but I don't mind at all. In fact, it can be fun like looking at a block of stone with a chisel and going over it until it resembles what I want it to look like until it does- or close to it.

When I write these blogs, it is always first draft and then I go over it a few times taking out words and I have often wondered if someone were to read it during that time if things suddenly disappear or appear during the process. It is different when I am working on something. I often write the first draft in a notebook and then transfer it into a computer and then keep going over it until it appears in the form that I want it in. I started to use a notebook because I could not write my story in a computer since I did not have one. I like computers best, but I like transferring it because I often rewrite the story completely. The blogs go into pretty much the way I write them. It is more like journalism which I used to do more.

I don't think writers, as a whole, ever get paid what they are worth. So, it is imperative that they get as much fun out of it as they can. Getting clogged down with all of those rules to my mind is not fun. I also think reading is as important as writing and as much fun too. They are two sides of the coin, so to speak. Reading becomes more important during the editing phase of writing. Also, there are times you want to repeat words. It can be very effective under certain conditions. It's like coffee. One cup of coffee is wonderful and sometimes two cups of coffee is great and sometimes it burns up the stomach. It all depends.

Fear of criticiam

I know a writer who is afraid of criticism to the extent that when his editor is going to give him some, the editor removes all of the breakable things in his office. There are writers that I have edited their writings and swore I would never do it again even when they came back and apologized for their reactions. It just did not seem worth it.

Writers are no different from anyone else in that fear plays a big part in their lives. It plays a part in my life and has for years. I know one writer who is really good and writes wonderful short stories and who has never sent in one of them. They are all are sitting on the memory drive of her computer or in the drawer of a file cabinet. I even showed her how to send them in electronically. She was amazed but still has not sent in any. She is afraid her stories will be rejected.

All writers get their stuff rejected. Even J.K. Rowland got Harry Potter rejected before she found a publisher. Of course, we all hear about those stories. We also hear about writers who never found a publisher or writers who got their stuff published after their death. What good is that? It isn't because their writing was too good, ahead of its time or just was sent in at the wrong time. Philip Dick's stuff continues to get his stuff published and his work was definitely ahead of its time, but he's dead. Some writers never leave the house because of their looks or because they think everyone thinks they are strange. They fear rejection on those grounds.

I believe there are as many reasons for fear as they are people who have the fear. I know a man who is afraid of living life, working and failing so would rather make himself sick and collect Social Security. There are more of those people than one would think. There are people who make their kids sick so they can continue to collect disability because they are afraid to take their chances working out their falling and getting up. Some people take all of that in stride. Some people take airplanes all of the time while others won't go near an airplane. There are so many examples.

I knew a Zen master who said when the fear comes, breathe and take it in. It is an opportunity to work on your spiritual pathway. It's not pleasant when a time comes in my life when a rejection comes and they do. "Fuck the pathway" is what I want to say and not take a breath and try and learn what life is presenting to me. From experience, it is easier to be present in the criticism because sometimes what is being said is not valid. I can reject it. Or not. I have to be there to make the decision.

Garry Wills

http://www.nybooks.com/blogs/nyrblog/2011/jan/13/obamas-finest-hour/

In a blog of the New York Times, Garry Wills wrote about "Obama's Finest Hour". The editorial was as finest an editorial I have read in a very long time and certainly equal to the subject it addressed. Not only did it describe someone's moment of inspiration but the writing by Mr. Wills was inspiring as well. He compared the president's speech to that of Abraham Lincoln, not for the first time but certainly made the comparison more concrete. It is being re-tweeted as I write this. I, myself, have done so and included it on my Facebook account.

There is no doubt what Mr. Wills describes as the president's finest hour is exactly that; but the journalist was able to describe the moment to his readers in such a way that readers can now seek a replay for themselves for they are everywhere and listen to it. It provides the essence of the moment when a leader reaches out to console a nation and succeeds. It is as if we are watching another president after the end of the blood bath of the Civil War reach out to console a nation with the Gettysburg Address.

There are writers, no doubt, who write things that sink down into oblivion and are never read by the masses let alone reacted to by many people. There are others who seek to raise awareness of injustice and cruelty within the human population and others who want to bring attention to themselves and some cause that will not be of any advantage to anyone. It is nice to be the kind of writer whose work brings a positive glow to the rest of our lives. Those are the writers who write books like "To Kill A Mockingbird" by Harper Lee. There are many examples. Of course, there are books such as Mein Kampf(My Struggle) by Adolf Hitler. There are other examples of those books too.

I don't believe in censorship. If one does not want to read a certain book, don't. Certainly, the man accused of shooting the people in Arizona wrote his own opus on the Internet as many who have been convicted of different crimes recently have done. Those who do not read a lot and commit heinous crimes have gone out of their way to put down their own words. I have no intention of reading their words. To be fair, the man accused has not been convicted of any crime.

What I can do is read such writers such as Garry Wills and realize that "we can be better" as President Obama said in his speech and honor those who died in an hail of bullets from a madman's gun. We don't have to blame people and call our neighbors names and even for a short time remember we are all in this life together. As writers, we can help with the healing. That is a good place to be, on the side of angels.

What I want to read...

‘I write what I would like to read – what I think other women would like to read. If what I write makes a woman in the Canadian mountains cry and she writes and tells me about it, especially if she says, ‘I read it to Tom when he came in from work and he cried too’, I feel I have succeeded.’

-George Orwell

There are times I can't seem to find a story or novel that I want to read. It is like being in bed and being unable to sleep and tossing and turning. I can't find the right position or the right dream. Then I start to think of a story and presto, I am thinking of a character and what he or she would do under this or that circumstances. Later, I start to write it. Ah, that is the story that I wanted to read. I feel so satisfied. Those are the people I wanted to meet, and I did.

I get close to my characters and often spend time talking with them. I know what had happened to them before the story began and often what happened to them after. Sometimes, I asked them what they think of this event or that in my life to see how they would react or I ask them why they did this or that and they tell me. I often am surprised by their answers. Sometimes, I like them and sometimes I don't. I can't make them do anything that is not natural for them to do. I have tried to do this many times, and it does not work.

The characters are never boring unless I have taken a wrong turn. If I am bored, then I have to back track and find out where I went wrong. I can't have Mary kill John if Mary did not want to. Some people think that writers are like God and that we have total control over the people in the stories. What most people don't understand is that like human beings in reality, the people in stories seem to have a will of their own and they are quite capable of breaking your heart.

If I am writing a good story, then I am satisfied with what is happening and feel good when it ends. I feel sorry when it does, but I can't make the people go on when there is no reason to unless another story is beginning. As a reader, I do the same. I get to the end of a short story or book and I feel good about it. Ah, as I close the covers. That was good. Time to start something else.

Realistic expectations

A friend of mine, who has been in a relationship for some time, was asked by his girlfriend why he loved her. He was stumped. He had no idea. He just knew he did. He told me that he thought at the time that he thought it was one of those questions that had no answer such as why he was a writer. He had no idea about that either although that subject had a lot to do with the previous question. His girlfriend was getting tired of waiting for him to make enough money for them to get married. He was not making a lot of money writing and did not want to make the final commitment to marriage while making so little. That relationship is still brewing.

His girlfriend, who is also a friend of mine, said he was not realistic about his writing and wanted her boyfriend to get a "real job". She was not a writer and did not understand why he even tried to get a writing career going as it did not seem realistic. Oh, oh. The word, 'realistic'. They are young and to be fair the girlfriend is working hard in getting a career started herself. She prides herself in being realistic about her career choice which is in nursing and looking at the future when they could have children. They are both in their early 30's and of course the girlfriend's biological clock is ticking. The boyfriend is a very talented writer but barely makes enough money to support himself and often takes part-time work through-out the year. He does not want to lose her, but also does not want to stop writing either. He is hoping he will not get to the "either or" stage in his private life. He will not consider his girlfriend supporting them both. I guess it is male pride. He also loves his life as a writer and would not want to have to choose.

I was reading a article this morning and it said basically that when someone demands someone to be realistic they are really demanding you to accept their version of reality and reject your own. (The Tiny Buddha http://tinybuddha.com/quotes/tiny-wisdom-on-whats-realistic).
As in many things, reality is so relative and in writing is especially so because the writer is putting down a version of his or her reality. A writer can try to put down what everyone will accept as a general version or put down the writer's. I am of the opinion that the writer will be happiest when the more honest version is used; but then history of literature is full of instances of writers producing work that was not accepted until the writer was long dead. That is not a admirable condition. Dead but rich does not make sense. Teaching English is not a bad job when you consider that many writers often drive cabs, work as night watchmen, seamen, sell from door to door, housewives, social workers, and so on. D.H. Lawrence was actually trained as a teacher until he ran off with someone's wife which in his time was a big no no. He could no longer teach anymore.

So what do you do when someone demands that you as a writer be more realistic? I guess it depends on how hungry you are. I have been lucky in that I was working at other jobs. That could be viewed as unlucky too. I had other mouths to feed. I felt like I was living two or more lives and if I could live my life again I would preferred to have lived just one. On the other hand, I don't regret my children. It is so easy to add responsibilities to one's life and I am glad I did not walk out the door.

Now, I do what I want to do. It makes life so much easier. There are so many articles directed towards writers to research the market and then to perform much like a trained seal. I am not a performing writer but an artist who is also a writer. I think if a writer does not want to be realistic or to be more accurate conform to someone else's expectations then don't. If you do, writing becomes a chore and not much fun. You might as well count widgets.

Solitude

I am comfortable being by myself. Most writers that I know do. It is hard to write in a crowd although it can be done. Many writers write in cafes and everyone remembers seeing people with their laptops in coffee shops and the like. I don't know if they are writers but there was this coffee shop that had a number of writers who would bring their laptops in and write. After a while the management of the cafe tried to get rid of them and did succeed although some of the writers were well known. They went under because no one else came to their coffee shop. I was one of them and I always bought coffee and what snacks I could eat. I did not bring my laptop but a notebook. I really got mad at them although it was later that I began to see another side to the argument that I did not consider then.

People are a social group and love being with other people and distrust any group of people who are not like they are. Writers are not the only ones who prefer to do something in solitude. Another group and they are related are readers. They like to read books and one sees them in stores with their cups of coffee and Barnes and Noble are often full of them which is very reasonable. Writers are loners or at least some are as readers often are. You have to be in order to do the kind of work you yearn to do. In biographies of writers, they also tend to take long walks by themselves. That is darn close to radical. There are other loners such as scientists and others too numerous to mention here, but as a group, the ones who are social outnumber the ones who are not.

Some of the problems I have had with friends is they like to spend long hours watching television and they like company doing this. I can't stand it. It drives me up a wall. I suppose it drives them up a wall when I am sitting there reading a book or writing on a computer. I have read an essay or two over the years and even a book, "Party of One: The Loners' Manifesto" by
Anneli Rufus. It is a celebration of solitude. It doesn't change the fact that many people are afraid of being alone. Writers, as a rule, are not.

People working in that coffee shop looked at their customers lost in their own world, peering into their laptops or engrossed in their notebooks, it frightened them or made them feel rejected. It made them feel left out. In the movie, "Looking for Neverland ", the creator of Peter Pan has a wife who gets a lover on the side because she feels left out of her husband's world. She tells him that she expected to be a fellow traveler in his creative journeys but couldn't. In a interview with Phillip Glass, the real life wife of Glass says the same thing. She has her young children but feels left out of the world her husband has created.

Writers, artists, poets, composers travel in wonderful worlds of the imagination but they travel alone although what they create can be shared by their readers, listeners, followers. When the writers were sitting at their tables, they can't share where they are going except in rare exceptions with their writing partners and others feel left out. I am guessing here. But I remember the anger of my own partners in the past when I was working and they just stood there and wanted to know why they could not be a part of what I was doing. It never occurred to me that anyone did not have their own world to occupy. Poor muggles.( I will always be grateful to J.K. Rowland for this insight.)

W. Somerset Maugham said that writers have the best job in the world. I agree, but until I had a steady income from other sources I did not enjoy writing as much as I do now. I don't have to depend on the steady supply of sales from my writing. If I sell, great and if I don't, that is ok too.
Part of writing involves reading which is a very nice part of writing. I read what I write and I read other writers. That is fun too, but is all done in solitude.

Writing and empathy

I was reading the current Bookmarks Magazine and saw a short ad for the book, "Healing Through Empathy: An Expanded Edition" by Dr. Francis Adams. In the short blurb for this book which I have not read or even seen, it states the book "illustrates through actual case histories the vital importance of the doctor-patient relationship and the role of empathy in healing. Dr. Adams calls for a balance between medical science and humanistic medicine. Suggestions are offered for finding the right physician."

It sounded familiar and looked up the name of Patch Adams from the film of the same name and his name is Hunter Adams but the direction of caring for one's patients follows the same path. Empathy is the ability to share the feelings of the patients and to have compassion for another human being. I remember the best doctors and even teachers in my life were those who had empathy towards those who they served.

What about writers? In the books that I enjoyed the most, I remember reading books by authors who seemed to care about the people in their books. Indeed, most writers are those who can put themselves in other people's shoes ,so to speak. I can only speak for myself, but I have often put myself in different characters imagining what it feels like to be older, disabled, a man, a child again and so forth. You can't do that unless you have some empathy for the character to some degree. There are writers out there who have no sympathy towards other human beings and we have all read stories by them. Their characters seem wooden and lifeless. They don't care what happens to them.

J.K. Rowland stated in an interview that when she wrote the demise of a character in one of her books she would cry and get depressed. I have felt the same. Some stories leave me cold and unmoved. I remember reading the book, "The World According to Garp"by John Garner in which Garp's son is killed in an auto accident that left me so upset I could not go to work the next day. I was reading it in unison with others in the nation and more than a few people had to go see their therapists that day. Some comedian made a joke about it. I did not think he was funny.

I don't think an author has to feel empathy to be successful. There are some writers who are very cold and very successful although the ones who are empathic towards their characters outweigh those who are not. I like murder mysteries and appreciate the fact that murderers get caught but not all murder mysteries are those in which the murderers are brought to justice. An exception would be the Dexter series by Jeff Lindsey. Dexter is a sociopath with no feelings but everyone else around him does feel and the reader does not want Dexter to be caught as Dexter kills the bad guy. There is Tom Riley by Patricia Highsmith. There is Marquise de Merteuil from "Les Liaisons Dangereuses" by Pierre Choderlos de Laclos and so much more by writers who feel sympathy and those who do not.

Of course, the obvious inference is for the writer to be honest. When I was a kid, there was a girl I knew who would coo over kittens because that was what girls were supposed to do. But I happened to know she hated them because they were dirty according to her and she hated the way they smelled. She was trying to cultivate an image. I have no idea what happened to her. Maybe she married a veterinarian. Who knows? Still, at the same time, I had professors in my college classes that made fun of writers who loved children and puppies. There was this poem about a child who died when he went back into a burning house to get his mother's purse and died. The professor just stood there and made fun of it and I was fighting tears for a child in the ghetto in New York City who actually did that.

I like poems and stories from writers who care about people, nature, animals and life itself. I like writers who allow themselves to be tied up on the Golden Gate Bridge as one did recently for a cause. I like another who wrote poems about nature and his confusion about his sexual identity. I like the Beat Writers. I never read writers who seem to be parroting what is popular and condemning people for one belief or another. I like writers who have empathy and like my doctor because he cares about his patients. I care about my characters too.

Things that give us pleasure

This morning, I watched the sun come up. The sky was clear for a change and the hues of the rising sun were rosy as the day began. I wanted to run outside and gather it all up and put it all in a box for safekeeping. Since I have come home to Redding, the weather has not been as pleasant as I remember. Unfortunately, this speaks to my habit of hoarding the good things. What am I to do with this?

Well, I write it all down. What else can I do with it? Writing is my way of recording the more pleasanter things and dealing with that I abhor and everything that comes in between. I have the notebooks and journals to prove it. When I win the Nobel Prize (joke) then someone will be interested in them. Until then, I will look at them and know I have gathered the days of my youth, middle age and now senior years. I still get ideas for stories from them but not often. I am one of those lucky writers who only have to put pen to paper or fingers to keys. The story just comes out onto the paper or screen.

This morning was a celebration as I woke up. That in itself was cause for celebration. There will be a time when I won't and Reader you won't have to read an entry about my waking up. Of course, you could read that I woke up dead. I have always loved that saying. I could write: "This morning, I woke up dead. " I think I would have to be a vampire in order for that to be true, but I won't wake up in the morning sunlight now would I?

Listening and reading

This is going to be a bit complicated. Writers read and listen to themselves when they write. Sometimes, it is the one time they know what they think about certain things and ideas. This has been echoed many times. Writers also read in order to keep up on what is happening in their field and to keep fresh on how to express themselves in words. Things get a bit dull when the only books they read are their own. In fact, it is rare that they only read themselves. Wannabe writers are those who do not read other writers. There are a lot of them.

Listening is an important skill for a writer to have. Reading is part of listening. It is more. It is listening to people so that the plots and stories that we write also stay fresh and inviting to the reader. As a writer, I am very curious about people and not because I want to keep writing stories. I really want to learn what is happening out there. When I listen to people, I hear stories I never thought I would ever hear about. I listen to things on television and radio but nothing beats hearing about what happens to people in everyday life. Walt Whitman loved to listen to people who talked about their jobs and what they did when they relaxed. His poetry is full of the things they did and talked about. His poems are full of life and are alive even today.

Every writer knows there is something inside that takes over when one is writing. You have to listen to that extra something, the muse, that leads you over the rainbow to the words, the stories, the poems that you didn't think were there inside of you. It is important never to ignore that inner voice. It just takes over and off you go into the sunset, into the sky and into the words that you did not think were there. Then there are the characters that are created but come alive on their own volition and start talking and telling the writer where to go, what to do and what to put down on the screen, on the paper and where to take the story. All that involves listening.

Now that I think about it, listening is one of the most important thing I do. It is also important not to listen. I don't listen to the Monkey Mind that says I am not a good writer and that I don't have what it takes to be a good writer or I try not to. I also don't listen to human critics who say things about my writing that I don't agree with. I do consider people's opinions and then I either take it or throw it out. That is hard to do. I have a ton of trash cans I put out every week that is full of stuff that people tell me and I put it in those cans and the trash trucks pick them up every week and there is none of that going out and trying to take the stuff out again like I used to years ago. What goes in those trash cans, stays.

It is fun to write. It is also fun to listen. I love listening to people tell me about what they are doing with their lives and how they are trying to survive. That is what all of us are really doing. No one lives a life full of promise and riches. Everyone has sorrows and problems even if the bank balance is full of money. Someone told me once that he would be so much happier if he had some money to throw at his problems. Perhaps. I know this woman who is my age and is sitting in a convalescent home because her health is very poor and no amount of wealth can change that. A wise man many years ago said life is full of sorrows. It was true then and it true now. Listening helps us get out of those nests of troubles and finds ways of dealing with the life we have now whether we are writers or not.

Making things more complicated

I have a friend who is a published poet and does alright with poetry. He feels he is successful because he does not have to pay to have his poems published. Yale University publishes his poems and seems very happy to do so. Of course, he does not make enough money to support his cat. Very few poets do. The reason I bring him up here is the comments he makes about my poems and my writings. He does not think too much about them. That's OK for we are still friends anyhow. I don't think too much about his poems. They seem too academic for me.

He has his graduate and doctorate's degrees from Yale University which is probably why they like to publish him. He also gives lectures there at times. He knows all about the technical terms about poems and literature. I used to know them, but I forgot them. I just don't see the importance of remembering them. I can't hear meter so I don't remember the different forms of them. I have dyslexic hearing which my friend does not think exists. That's his opinion. We are not real close. He is always telling me what I am doing wrong in the poems that I have published here and there. He is also a Buddhist and tells me all of the things I get wrong there too.

I am not writing here that it is important not to remember or that one should. I think one should be true to oneself. When I tried to remember all of the definitions, terms and so forth I was so tied up I could hardly write or even talk. I was afraid of talking to another Buddhist. I remember being at a very nice talk at a Buddhist Monastery and one of the monks was chatting away about the definition of a term that I had not heard about before. I listened and then I realized that I just did not care. I was doing just fine where I was so I went for a walk around the grounds and found someone else doing the same. We just sat and watched some cats playing in the sunshine. I went home and made up my mind to be more honest with myself.

Some people need the terms and definitions as anchors which is very good for them. I don't. Some people need to look up their truths in a book. While I love books, I would rather look within. For me, I think one can make something you love a lot more complicated than it needs to be and a whole lot less fun to do. I love to write and enjoy it tremendously. I did learn the rules and try not to break them, but it is like complete sentences. One should never write incomplete sentences but sometimes the work calls for them. If it does, write them. The Grammar Police will not arrest you. As long as you are communicating, that is the most important issue. That does not mean I don't read the rules for I do. I just remember to have some fun too. I pick and choose what I will do in writing. No one else does it for me.

Honesty

I wrote about enthusiasm on my blog about being healthy and I do tend to communicate my sense of enthusiasm in my writing; but that is not what I want to write about here. Basically, I write here what I have learned over the years hoping that I would put into words those hard learned lessons that I learned over the years. Maybe I can help another writer. Maybe not.

What I did learn was to be honest about what I wanted to write about. If I was enthusiastic, then I wrote that way. If I wasn't, I did not write that way. For a long time, much of the writing that was mainstream was not optimistic or enthusiastic about anything. So, in order to fit in I tried to write like everyone else was writing. I hated what I was doing and a series of writing blocks erupted on my pathway making my road very uncomfortable and disagreeable. I listened to my teachers and professors trying to conform. Since I am like most writers and read, I tried to conform to what I was reading. There was no joy in my writing. I did not have any fun writing, and didn't until I stop listening to all of that crap.

I am not saying that you should be enthusiastic as I am. No, good heavens no. What I am writing here is honesty. Some of what I wrote rings very false now when I read it. I know someone who was very much of a downer as a writer and wrote that way. He hated his life and wrote books that did very well. He never reads his stuff, but he was honest and is proud of what he did in earlier years. Is he more optimistic? No. He still hates his life, but he is married now and feels a bit more optimistic and recently got a job as a syndicated newspaper columnist. That has taken off and he loves that. His books have lost a bit of the edge he had in the earlier years because of that. He thinks he has more of an outlet for his pessimism although he likes to call himself a realist or pragmatist. He reads a lot of William James. Luckily, his book sales have not suffered.

Part of the reason, one writes is that it is fun. If it isn't or it doesn't satisfy something deep inside oneself, why do it? Of course, I could not stop writing if I wanted to. Still, if I lived several hundred years ago and I was writing on paper and it wasn't going anywhere I would still do it. Nowadays, I get to send it out into cyberspace. I even love the word, cyberspace. Ah, life is grand these days and honesty is so much better doing as a writer than anything else.