Fear of criticiam

I know a writer who is afraid of criticism to the extent that when his editor is going to give him some, the editor removes all of the breakable things in his office. There are writers that I have edited their writings and swore I would never do it again even when they came back and apologized for their reactions. It just did not seem worth it.

Writers are no different from anyone else in that fear plays a big part in their lives. It plays a part in my life and has for years. I know one writer who is really good and writes wonderful short stories and who has never sent in one of them. They are all are sitting on the memory drive of her computer or in the drawer of a file cabinet. I even showed her how to send them in electronically. She was amazed but still has not sent in any. She is afraid her stories will be rejected.

All writers get their stuff rejected. Even J.K. Rowland got Harry Potter rejected before she found a publisher. Of course, we all hear about those stories. We also hear about writers who never found a publisher or writers who got their stuff published after their death. What good is that? It isn't because their writing was too good, ahead of its time or just was sent in at the wrong time. Philip Dick's stuff continues to get his stuff published and his work was definitely ahead of its time, but he's dead. Some writers never leave the house because of their looks or because they think everyone thinks they are strange. They fear rejection on those grounds.

I believe there are as many reasons for fear as they are people who have the fear. I know a man who is afraid of living life, working and failing so would rather make himself sick and collect Social Security. There are more of those people than one would think. There are people who make their kids sick so they can continue to collect disability because they are afraid to take their chances working out their falling and getting up. Some people take all of that in stride. Some people take airplanes all of the time while others won't go near an airplane. There are so many examples.

I knew a Zen master who said when the fear comes, breathe and take it in. It is an opportunity to work on your spiritual pathway. It's not pleasant when a time comes in my life when a rejection comes and they do. "Fuck the pathway" is what I want to say and not take a breath and try and learn what life is presenting to me. From experience, it is easier to be present in the criticism because sometimes what is being said is not valid. I can reject it. Or not. I have to be there to make the decision.